things have been going really well the past weeks, better than ever I thought.
But it’s my parents.
A couple of days ago my dad confronted me and said that he was worried about me. It’s ironic because when I’m doing better than I have ever been doing in years, he finally confronts me HAAAAAAAa oh my fucking god.
And, today, my day was ruined when I read this in my mothers diary.
I know I shouldn’t read her things, because whenever there is a slight mention of me, it’s usually crushing in some way.
”I feel so much better and it’s good to be back at yoga again, though I do feel I need to loose a few pounds. I found a letter from Doctors that Ella had an appointment regarding her eating disorder. I guess she has lost a lot of weight”
Luna, you don’t know how mad it made me when I read it. She knows about my ed and hasn’t said anything to me and it hurts so bad.
I can’t believe that even in her diary she has the nerve to associate my eating disorder with her wanting to lose a few pounds, like ‘oh, that’s right, almost forgot! I found a letter regarding my daughters eating disorder. Anyhoo, back to yoga I go”
see, I’m joking about it, but fuck, it killed me so bad.
I’ve been doing so fucking well lately Luna, everything has been lovely, and pedro has been wonderful, and everything has just been great for me, and I’ve been happy but this, I don’t even know what to do with myself, it’s so fucking triggering to know that she knows and still doesn’t care. you know?